thelisabeast

It's been awhile... Winter and sadness stunted my ability to photograph. I spent most of the colder month in bed or huddled against my radiators or pretending I honestly loved the new boy I had been seeing... but in al honesty, I feel better off as asexual. Despite a necessary bit of fun with and old horror fan friend I adore. I live alone, have for 3/4s of a year in a new apartment. I gave up RPing because my opinionated and stubbord side always caused problems. I went through drug and drug after drug... until we found the appropriate cocktail for me. My only missing portion is a mineral suppliment for my fatigue. But I'm looking into it.

So, some fast updates: 1) My fiancee of 6 years left me to be with a 19 year old punk kid. And he chilishly took back gifts he had given me over the years that had sentimental value while I actually left him a new gift as an olive branch of friendship. 2) I have a fantastic NEW boyfriend. He's an escape artist, certified genious, magician, has savant syndrome, is a HIGH functioning aspie, is co-authoring some peer reviewed articles, working on a doctorate in math and sweet as sugar, 3) I've moved back to my home town temporarily to get reinspired, take care of my Mother and Father and bond with my very young nephews. 4) I love my new boyf

I've wanted only two things in my life; To be either thin and willowly or to be curvy and delicious. I've tried for a happy medium... but nothing has ever given me what I wanted. I want to model. I've done it before, many times, and I love it... I just want another chance to try. I work out more every day. I eat less every day. And yet... I am worthless. I wish I could nanny again but it's been years since my first aid and CPR certifications... I get to look after little Avalon (the neice I wish my brither could give me) since Stef'n'Martin know me well... but I want more. I love children. And I love burlesque. So why can't I do EITHER!?